No News is Good News, As News Goes

I haven't updated the blog in awhile and I apologize for that but we have officially entered into the (as the title of this blog indicates) "no news is good news" state. Karl is still going through chemotherapy cycles and will still have a periodic MRI/checkup but by and large he is healthy. The chemotherapy still fatigues him but that is obviously a minor issue compared to what Karl has gone threw over the past half year.

So again, we will use this blog to post any updates but if you don't hear from us be praising God that Karl is doing well!

One more thing, I'm throwing around the idea of interviewing Karl for this blog. I'll post it when it's done.

Psalm 139:14

Every single Krass child (possibly with the exception of Alan, I can't remember) had this wonderful 3rd grade teacher by the name of Mrs. Jackson. Mrs. Jackson is and was a legend. Not only was it a MUST to select her with the first overall pick in recess kickball (Her OPS had to be near .989) she was also rather liberal with her skittle distribution. But in addition to all this, Mrs. Jackson had her classes memorize and recite particular biblical passages each year. For whatever reason (insert the Lord) one of these passages popped into my head this morning.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; you works are wonderful, I know that full well."

-Psalm 139:14

We memorized the entirety of Psalm 139 and if I were offered enough skittles I could probably remember the hand motions and voice inflections. My favorite part of the chapter was this verse. We would say each word very slowly, with added exaggeration on the words "praise", "fearfully" and "wonderfully".

I am not intelligent or theologically savvy enough to speculate on what it means to be fearfully made so allow me to take a shot on the wonderfully made part.

We are wonderfully made. We are wonderfully and intentionally made. To me that suggests that the garbage that we inherit: the depression, the lack of self-esteem, the cancer doesn't minimize the fact that God looks at us and says, "Yup, I pretty much hit this one out of the park. I'm very pleased with how I created Karl Krass. Keith Krass, Alan Krass, Jennie Krass, Kevin Krass, Trish Krass, Kari Zawada, Shannon Zawada, Logan Zawada, E-Force Zawada (Ethan) Mrs. Jackson, Wilt Chamberlin are pleasing to me."

I'm not saying that God is somehow responsible for "giving" people terrible diseases. That issue is a book not a blog. What I am saying is that despite the diseases and stuff, God thinks we are wonderful. He didn't slip up in creating you and me.

Sometimes I have to remind myself this. Often times I have to remind myself this.

Awhile back I included a link to the song "desert song" by Hillsong. This morning I was also thinking about the last four lines in the song:

"This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow."

Karl has received some pretty good news over the last month or so. Which is awesome. But the refrain of this song is "I will bring praise, I will bring praise, no weapon forged against me shall remain. I will rejoice, I will declare, God is my victory and he is here."

I'm just trying to remind myself to praise him in every season, both good and bad...

Ps To Mrs Jackson: you are an amazing woman. Thank you for making me learn those verses as a 3rd grader. They do matter and they still do. I'm am literally eternally grateful.

Back to school, back to school

Although Karl's return to school is significantly dissimilar to the fictional Billy Madison, I couldn't let the opportunity to include a picture and reference from a truly wonderful achievement in film just fall by the wayside. I may need to look this up, but I'm pretty sure Billy Madison won like 97 Academy Awards. Anyways, that is neither here, nor there*. If you are unsure what the "star" is doing following the "there" of that sentence, I haven't blogged in awhile so I'm feeling very spunky. The "*" is an indication that there is a footnote at the bottom of this blog. That's right. I take a little sabbatical from blog writing and I return with a new bag of tricks. I compare it to Jordan returning with a fade-away jumper. But that is neither here nor there...



But back to Billy Madison. Last week Karl returned to ZBTHS (Zion-Benton Township High School for those that are non-regional) to finish up his student teaching. As of right now he is just doing observations but will be teaching lessons soon enough. Karl is still getting fatigued and his legs will get tired from standing around all day but overall his health is very good. His stitches are now out from his past surgery as well. Below is a picture of Karl after his latest surgery.



Just kidding Karl...

So overall Karl is doing very well. He will still have regular check ups and despite the fact that they didn't see any cancer in his last scans, he will still have chemo treatments. They want to make sure that they get all of it.

One more thing, 99% of the population was peeved when Duke beat Butler to win the National Championship. Karl is part of the 1% that was excited about this. I have to admit, although I wanted Butler to win I'm happy for Karl. Karl is a HUGE Duke fan. I think he deserves for life to throw him a bone...






*Other expressions that I have no idea what they mean, "Have your cake and eat it too", "Well...yes and no", "It is really apples and oranges", "Don't put all your eggs in one basket".

Bored...

Karl is now home (which is pretty cool to write). This week is going to be real boring, even more so than the past few weeks. If you think of it, it would be great if you could send him an email (karlw44@aol.com) or better yet a card (40233 Adelphi, Beach Park, IL 60099) or even better yet stop by and see him (same address).

I know he would really appreciate it.

Trance

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You know when you're watching a baseball game and an outfielder drops a routine fly ball, how he immediately puzzledly (I just made up that word) looks at his glove like it's his gloves fault. You can almost see him mouth the words, "Is this glove regulation or what?" There is no way HE made a mistake. For lack of a better word, he looks like he is in a trance.



That is how I feel right now. Honestly, it is hard for me to believe the news. I mean, how can they not see the cancer? After 4.5 months of praying, worrying (sometimes the two blend) it is almost shocking that what everyone has been praying for ACTUALLY came true.

I've thought about this quite a bit the last two days (naturally). I should be having a mini worship service and celebrating like we just won the world series (I apologize for all the baseball allusions but the Cubs are going to win the world series this year and I am starting to get excited).



But instead, I have just felt a peace. I think we always wait for God to call down to us in a deep, verbose, 4x4 voice and say "I AM GOD!!!!!!!!!!" But instead, I've just felt a steady, calm and peaceful "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one." (Deuteronomy 6:4) God has just reinforced over and over again in my head that He is great, He is with us and he is mighty to save (Zephaniah 3:17).

What God has really put on my heart is that He (and I'm just going to be real honest here) wants people to see him through this. It's very easy to say that this was a medical miracle, or to use reason and logic to explain away why the doctors can't find any of the tumor. I agree that there has been significant advances in medicine and I am grateful for those but I know for a fact that there was "something" else at work during this whole process.

I don't really understand prayer. I don't, I'll admit it. I don't know how or why 3,000 people's prayers or any more "important" than one person's; and perhaps they aren't. But what I will say is that I am grateful for everyone that has been lifting Karl up in prayer. I am so grateful.

Colossians 3:15-19 says,
"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over al creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether thing on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Here's the thing. God does have supremacy over EVERYTHING and I believe that he is using Karl's situation to bring people to Him. Now this may sound too "Christiany", and I may be wrong. But I don't think I am.

God has been with Karl, God has delighted in Karl and God is mighty to save.

Ps Karl is being released from the hospital today.

Miracle

I have two observations on faith, well perhaps more specifically on prayer: 1) we pray and then are shocked when what we pray for actually happens and 2) we pray then when we asked for happens we assume there was a medical "miracle" or just a fortunate situation.

I think in doing so we minimize God. Allow me to explain.

Put plainly a miracle happened today. Now before I really get into this I should add this caveat, nothing is "official" at this point. Think of watching CNN's tracking of the presidential election, the CNN talking heads have a pretty good indication of who is going to win before they can officially call it. This is kinda like that.



Ok, here's a rundown of what happened. First, an individual from the neurological team evaluated Karl's MRI and it revealed tow things. 1) The area where they were supposed to place the plate was infected or damaged (or at least they thought). This was really discouraging. It was going to be an additional 8 weeks before Karl could then have the surgery to put the plate it. 2) The neurologist wasn't able to find any of the tumor. The neurologist wasn't able to find any of the tumor. Seriously.

Miracle. God miracle.

So they started the surgery and wouldn't you know it the spot they thought was damaged was actually just scar tissue. So they were able to put the plate in today.

Miracle. God miracle.

After the surgery my brother talked to our doctor that performed the surgery and he likewise didn't see any of the tumor. We are going to play this one conservative and not say that Karl is completely cancer-free but worst case scenario is that the cancer hasn't grown since his previous surgery. Best case scenario is that the cancer is no longer there.

Obviously, either way this is good news.

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Surgery

Karl is having surgery today, or perhaps better stated, is probably having surgery right now. The surgery is to graft a plastic plate unto the portion of his skull that was removed due to the infection that occurred after Karl's previous surgery. Our understanding is that as skull/head surgeries go this is very much a "cosmetic surgery". Obviously any time you cut open someone's head and attach things to someone's skull it is relatively complicated. Please pray that the surgery will go well and that Karl's recovery time will be as painless as possible. I will update this blog again later today with the results of the surgery.

Psalm 42:7

March 12

You know when you see someone that you dated in high school, but haven't seen in two or three years and the first exchange usually consists of a real awkward "side" hug and both people saying "how are you?" at the same time and both people saying "good" at the same time? Well, that is kind of how I feel right now with this blog. Although karlkrassupdates.blogspot.com and I never had any romantic chemistry we were pretty committed to each other for awhile but we haven't spoken lately.

Unlike the high school relationships, I am optimistic we can work this one out.

Karl is scheduled to have his next surgery on March 12. This is the surgery to replace the section of his skull that became infected during the second surgery. A month or so ago, I wrote about how the doctors could either create a new "bone" or simply attach a plastic "plate" to the existing skull. Below is the plate they are planning to use.



Although the Mario plate option does run a higher risk of infection (especially since Karl has already had one he's not real pumped about this option) they doctors feel this would be the best thing for him. The other scenario would require the doctors to take two non-consecutive ribs from Karl's side, take two inches off the rib, split the rib in half, take some of his skull and essentially create a new skull. I think even the doctors are confused by this option. There is likewise a risk of infection with this procedure so the plate just makes a little more sense.

Karl will have an MRI prior to this surgery to see the status of the tumor and to determine exactly what's going on up there. The best part about the surgery though? The doctor told Karl he could play contact sports four weeks after the surgery. Seriously.

The Longest Post Ever

As I briefly mentioned in yesterday's blog, today is the twelve year anniversary of my father passing away from colon cancer. As you can probably imagine I have a ton of thoughts. Instead of writing a new blog entry, I decided I would just cut and paste something I wrote about my dad about three weeks ago. I've started writing more and more since my brother became sick and this is one of the entries. I apologize for the length.


Frankly, writing this entry is the last thing I want to do. In a lot of ways, this journal is actually an excuse for me to write this chapter because it’s something I have always needed to do. Ok, I’m beating around the bush. This chapter is about Kevin William Krass. Kevin was my father and as I have alluded to in prior chapter, he passed away when I was twelve years old.

I’ve thought for a while, about how I would tell my dad’s story. I’ve contemplated researching his upbringing in East Point, MI, how he met my mom, how he became a pastor, his diagnosis with cancer and so on. What I’m realizing though, even as I write this, is that those things are just facts and information. Facts are just the outlines of an object in a painting-the color is what brings the image to life. I don’t want to paint the outline because my dad’s story has already been told. Millions of people have died from colon cancer. I want to add color to the image; to make the image dance. By the way, my dad was a Baptist pastor so when I say “dance” you have to understand that there was a greater chance of him flying solo to the moon on a Radio Flier than him dancing. No, when I say I dance I immediately think of the Bonnie Brook Baptist Soccer Camp. Allow me to explain.

Every summer my dad would run a soccer camp for the youth of the neighborhoods surrounding the church. Even though he played and coached basketball his entire life he chose soccer because 1) it was cheap 2) we could do it right in the fields at church 3) the communities around the church were by and large Hispanic and as I understand it Hispanics really, really like soccer. At the beginning of each day my dad would lead the campers through a stretching and warm-up routine. The calisthenics always concluded with my dad’s favorite stretch, the ballerina stretch. This particular move consisted of each camper placing his hands over his head (envision 100 kids making the “A” like in the hand motions for the Village People’s “YMCA”), standing on their tiptoes and spinning in circles.

What was so great about this little movement was that it was always my dad leading it, and it was always my dad’s favorite part of the day. My dad was a big guy. He was a 6’5”, 220lbs, mustached former college basketball player performing a rather impressive version of swan lake. And that was my dad. And that is what I miss and continue to miss.

Even as I’m writing now I’m fighting back tears because more than anything I just wish I could call him up and tell him that I’m writing this journal, that I’m really excited about this church I’m going to now (shameless plug: the-harbor.net). It’s funny because its not even though I long for him to say anything back, I just want to talk to him. In a way, it feels like nothing I have done in my life is of value because he hasn’t approved of it or validated it.

I think that’s the hard part about growing up without a dad, often times you are just guessing at what the right thing to do is. You remember ballerina stretches but you don’t remember him telling you how to tie a tie or throw a curveball or how to ask a girl out on a date. Even though you seek counsel and advice from other people it always feels like you’re doing business with the boss’ secretary without ever meeting person in charge face to face.

I understand that not everyone has a good father, but the ones that do spend a lot of their life striving to either make their father proud or even, more blatantly, trying to become who their father is or was. What makes situations like mine difficult is that because my dad passed away when I was so young, my entire life I have heard how wonderful my dad was. How beautifully he dealt with his disease, how strong a leader he was, how compassionate a pastor he was, etc. Even though my family tells me all the time how proud my dad would be of me, I simply can’t accept that. I get visions of my dad becoming one of those dead-beat alcoholic TV dads stumbling into my room and saying things like, “Why don’t you get a real job?” and “You’re not married yet, you must be gay.”

What’s crazy is that my dad loved me. I know this for a fact. But because he isn’t around, the reality of who he is gets twisted and perverted to the point that I can’t even remember who my dad actually was. I remember in high school thinking to myself that the only way I could be successful was to be diagnosed with a terminal disease like my dad and die with dignity and strength just like he did. I fully acknowledge that this doesn’t make any sense, but when you’re trying to color by numbers and about 400 numbers are missing your picture becomes a little distorted.

A few years ago Donald Miller wrote a book entitled To Own a Dragon. The book was mainly about Miller trying to find his identity without a father in his life. I highly recommend it to individuals that have lost their dad but also if you still haven’t. I think it is a great read. Miller says that to him, “A Father is nothing more than a character in a fairy tale” because he had never seen a real one. I can relate to this. In a lot of ways this book has and continues to be an experiment in finding myself. Finding myself spiritually, finding myself relationally, finding myself professionally, etc. What I’m realizing is that God set up certain road signs that were designed to make sure we grow up right. I believe this design includes having two loving parents, a nurturing church to attend, a family that supports you, etc.

But unfortunately because we live in a sinful and broken world this design has become nothing more than a fairytale for a lot of us. My dad died when I was twelve, the church he was pasturing closed its doors after he passed away, my brother was diagnosed with brain cancer, etc. And as I stated in the introduction, I’m not the only one. My story isn’t unique; in fact, I think it’s the norm.

Really I guess this is what this book is all about. By all accounts, humanities collective story is too similar to ignore. I realized this when Karl was diagnosed with cancer. I received 10 emails a day saying that so and so had a brother that had brain cancer and so and so’s son had brain cancer. When you actually stop to think about it, it’s quite remarkable.

Even though I will never be able to say that there is anything positive about cancer I am sure glad I have people that cry for me and people that pray for me and people that know what I’m going through. Without them, life would quite literally be impossible. Maybe this is God’s new system. Even though I think all parties involved would much prefer life without pain and suffering, for a reason I’ll never understand this is impossible. But maybe human race’s redemption is through each other-through crying for each other, through praying for each, through sending poems to each other.

In Randy Paush’s book The Last Lecture he talks about how he knew immediately how well his students would do on their final group project when the students would present their final project to the rest of the class simply by how the group was standing on stage. The students that were huddled together, smiling and laughing together almost always received an “A”. The students that were spread out across the stage and didn’t have much interactions usually did average or below average.

I don’t understand why God does a lot of the things he does, but I’m pretty sure that the best way to navigate this life is with people around you.

By the way, after my dad died and the church split, the leaders of the church voted and decided that the last act of the church would be to give the church building and all that was inside it to a multi-racial but largely Hispanic church that was renting the building. One of my dad’s biggest dreams was that Bonnie Brook Baptist Church would serve the Hispanic community in the area. That is why he started the soccer camps and the ballerina stretching in the first place.

Maybe God does know what he is doing after all…

Part II

First and foremost I botched the last line of the previous entry. It was supposed to read, "Maybe God's love is the answer, we just don't understand the question". That really took the sales out of the the punch line. Dang it. Sorry.

Anyways, Karl emailed me today with some information from this past week.

Ok, here's what makes Junior Highers unique. Karl not only had to answer the, "Dude why are you wearing a helmet" question 500 times AND had a kid hit him in the head, by Wednesday they didn't care anymore. I can just hear the conversations in my head. One friend asks another one, "Hey what's the deal with Mr. Krass' head?" and the other responding, "Dude I don't care, that was like so two days ago."

Karl apparently taught the kids how to bump, set and serve on Thursday (impressive for a volleyball newby). The other activity he had them do was stand on an exercise mat and open it only using their feett and move it across the room. The picture below is the image I have in my head.




Karl has two more weeks of student teaching.

Now for the bad news, Karl has an appointment on February 17 but won't have the surgery to put the plate back on his skull until March 10. That means he will have to wear the helmet for awhile longer. Total bummer.

2 Part Sunday: Part 1

I have quite a few thoughts I would like to put in this blog today so I would like to introduce the first ever two-part karlkrassupdates.blogspot.com entry. This first entry is a rather random observation that came to me during the church service this morning and the other is more of an actual Karl Krass update. They sorta both apply to Karl but I felt weird including them in the same blog (basically, it would be too long for people to read and they would lose interest. I'm tricking y'all by separating the posting into two different entries...)

So without further ado...

This morning at church we sang this song. There is a line in the chorus of the song that goes like this, "Your love heals every disease, your love is everything." Now just for a little history, I heard this song the first Sunday I was back in Boston after hearing about Karl's illness. My response to this song: I was 100%, completely and totally, royally PISSED! I mean, the melody of the song was great, the whole congregation was singing, it was for all intensive purposes "worship". The only problem, is that I don't think it's true. Now I'm not implying that God's love is incapable of curing all diseases. It certainly can. But the song seems to be suggesting that is "does". If this were the case, my dad wouldn't have died of cancer 12 years ago tomorrow (I'll blog more about that tomorrow). Believe me, we prayed for my dad, other people prayed for my dad, my dad prayed for my dad, etc. At the end of the day, God's love didn't cure his disease.

So about four months ago when I heard this song I, well...just left church. Not the building entirely; I just went outside into the loggia (by loggia I mean foyer but I told a friend today that he needs to start incorporating loggia into his every day vocabulary) and just sat there stewing for about 45 minutes. A friend came out and we talked for the entirety of the sermon. I felt a little bad after the service but I was just so doggon angry.

Fast forward four months. We sang that song again today, and for whatever reason I wasn't so pissed this time. I've been thinking about it all day and I've come to a somewhat profound realization. You see, this morning before church the Lord put it on my heart to read Mark 2: 1-5. I thought it had something to do with the small group I'm leading tomorrow but it actually was to prepare me for this song today.

If you're not familiar with the story, I'll briefly summarize. There was this dude, the bible doesn't give him a name so we will call him Lex Israel. Lex was paralyzed. Lex's friends heard that this guy named Jesus was going around healing the sick. Lex's friends were obviously pumped to take Lex to Jesus. Unfortunately there were so many people there that they couldn't make it to Jesus. There solution: climb on the roof and the lower Lex down to Jesus via a hole in the ceiling.

I wish I were that good of a friend.

Anyways, Jesus is SO moved by the love that Lex's friend's have for Lex that Jesus says to Lex, "Son, your sins are forgiven." Ok, here's what this is so significant. Jesus was uber impressed by these friends and more specifically the FAITH of these friends. To reward Lex, Jesus decides not to heal him but to forgive his sins. To Jesus, the forgiveness of sins is way more important than the ability to walk.

Maybe the point isn't actually that God can heal diseases. Maybe to God, healing someone is like Lance Armstrong riding his bike around the Vatican City (.17 square miles). It's just not that big of a deal. Believe me, I hope that God heals Karl and that even as I'm writing this I hope that tumor is nonexistent. But maybe we're missing something. Maybe there's this bigger picture that God is painting that we don't and never will understand. Actually, you know what, there has to be a bigger picture that God is painting that we don't understand.

Now I realize fully well that I'm not the one with cancer, and part of me thinks even as I'm writing this "Keith, you're full of crap. You are just trying to justify God's inaction." Maybe. But the more I think about illness and pain and suffering my soul just naturally looks for something deeper, something that actually does make sense amidst the crappiness of life. And for some reason, this whole praying for healing thing just feels like I'm skimming the surface and that there is something way deeper that I'm just not getting.

I'm reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:12 where Paul says, "Now we see but a poor reflection; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." I don't understand all this right now, but I think one day I will.

You want to know something pretty ironic, for all you savvy bible scholars out there 1 Corinthians is often referred to as "the love chapter." 1 Corinthians 12:8 says, "Your love never fails." Maybe the song actually is right. Maybe God's love is actually the question. We just don't understand the answer...

Part II coming shortly.

Volleyball

Let's track Karl's first day of student teaching by the numbers:

150 - Times he answered "Why are you wearing a helmet?"
1 - Junior Higher that actually hit him in the helmet
1 - Junior Higher that almost lost his life for hitting Karl in the helmet
3 - Times Karl has played the game of volleyball is his entire life
4 - Classes that Karl is supposed to teach volleyball to
2 - Rules of volleyball that Karl knows

Talk about a tough draw. I will acknowledge that the Krass family isn't quite the Mannings in our athletic prowess



but I would like to think that we are pretty versatile in our knowledge of athletics. If you add up all the sports Krass kids played in high school, Kari = 2 + Karl = 3 + Alan =3 (Alan actually was on the golf team. Consult link below for example of Alan's Golf swing) + Keith = 4 you got a total of 12.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s50K65PNeBU

Three of us played at least one sport at the collegiate level etc etc. So is it too much to ask that Karl would get basketball, football, soccer, I'll even give you floor hockey but volleyball? In the words of Gob Bluth, "Come on!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTJpLBXGBkM



But anyways, Karl said that day one of student teaching wasn't too bad. He didn't do a ton of teaching, mostly observation, but he hopes to gain more responsibility as time progresses.

I was talking to someone today about the blog. She asked if I had updated the blog yet today. I hadn't. But one thing she did say is that since reading the blog she has started journaling a little bit more. I must admit, I hate journaling. It's boring and often its really hard to get motivated to write. However, if you are going through "something difficult" I highly, highly recommend it. Since Karl got sick I started writing more and more. I have 54 pages worth of "thoughts" in a word document right now. It has been wonderfully therapeutic.

Back to School

Much like Adam Sandler in the academy-awarding film "Billy Madison" (I think it won the Oscar for cinematography) Karl returned to school today. Albeit, under slightly different circumstances. Because Karl apparently hasn't endured enough pain and suffering over the past few months, he has decided to continue the completion of his student teaching. To do this he must...gasp...spend eight hour a day with junior highers teaching gym class.



I mean seriously, how scary are these kids. I get the shivers...

In all seriousness, this is a pretty substantial undertaking for Karl so please be in prayer that he will have the strength to make it through the day.

Generally speaking, I don't want to speak for my entire family but just pray for a "resurgence of energy". Cancer can be such a difficult thing for an entire family because its just draining. OBVIOUSLY it's hard for Karl but I know its been hard on my family dealing with all the insurance and medical "issues" and for me its been hard being 1,000 miles away. To put it very plainly, it's just exhausting. In addition, February 1st is the 12 year anniversary of my dad's passing. I was talking to my mom a few days ago and we both agreed that this time of the year is just kinda difficult.

I've been thinking alot over the last few weeks about the numerous ways that cancer, well...basically...sucks. I think one of the biggest things that I just keep coming back to is how cancer never takes a day off. Pretty much every other "thing" in life, takes a siesta or vacation. Cancer just "stays". Every so often when I'm feeling particularly discouraged I watch the speech below from former NC State basketball coach Jim Valvano. I thought about what scripture I should add at the bottom of this particular entry but this just seems more appropriate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePXlkqkFH6s

It's long but I recommend watching all of it.

1 More Day!!!!!!!!!!!

Before you start criticizing me for how cheesy this picture is, as you may or may not know I enjoy adding pictures to this blog. Karl has one more day of treatment. So obviously I google searched the word "victory" as this is clearly a sizable victory and this was the first image that popped up on google images. So there you have it. Yes, the poster is probably hung in every 3rd grade Baptist church Sunday school classroom in Georgia but I wanted to include a picture so there you have it.

So yes, Karl has one more day of treatment (Hallelujah!). I asked him yesterday if he was glad (I couldn't resist putting a picture of an acapella group in my blog. If you or your parents didn't listen to Glad, you missed out).





that is treatments were over tomorrow. His response, "YEEESSSSSSSSS, of course!" Right. Touche. Of course, he's glad.

Karl is hoping to get about three weeks or so in of his student teaching starting on Monday! Please be in prayer that Karl will have the energy to deal with junior highers for about eight hours a day five days a week. A believe in a God that can perform miracles.

I mentioned in one of the previous blogs that Karl was going to a camp with his junior high youth group this past weekend. Karl said he had a lot of fun. The kids played broomball and football, and did, you know, what you do at those kind of camps. My favorite part of the conversation though was apparently there was a kid there this weekend that was kinda...errrr...gullible to say the least.

They told this kid that Tom Foolery and Balley-Hoo own a restaurant in a neighborhood called Hi Jinx in Paris. There they sit around drinking chicanery all the day long. Oh yeah, the restaurant is located directly under the Eiffel Tower.

Priceless. I love it...

P.S. per my tradition, I google image searched "Tom Foolery" just to see what would come up. Awesome. Tom Foolery apparently was a Canadian rock band circa 1979. Priceless...

4 More Days, Daniel Craig and Lamar Odom ruining Rhode Island

I just got off the phone with Karl. The first thing he said, "How come you didn't compare me to Daniel Craig?" Point taken. After consulting the picture above I believe Karl's point is valid. The similarities are startling. I mean they BOTH have blonde hair and blue eyes. It's eery...

Karl has four more days of treatment. I asked him how he is doing since they isolated the location of the radiation and he said he is just more tired than usually. Yesterday he took a four hour nap. He said even his legs feel tired, which I thought was kind of interesting. Karl is hoping to continue at least part of his student teaching after this chemo/radiation cycle is done but a lot of that will depend on whether or not he has enough energy. Please pray that Karl will be energized. He is going to Camp Timberlee with the junior high youth group of Immanuel this weekend, so again, pray for lots and lots of energy.




Our conversation then progressed to Connecticut as I will be recruiting in that "state" tomorrow evening. Instead of summarizing, the conversation is below:

Karl: What's in Connecticut?
Me: Nothing, I think Hartford maybe. Oh and Yale.
Karl: Why do you hate it so much?
Me: Why is Everest the tallest mountain? Some things are just inherently true.
Karl: Is Connecticut on the water?
Me: Yeah, most of it. Rhode Island is right next to it as well.
Karl: What's Rhode Island's deal?
Me: Even less than nothing, I don't even consider it a real state. Them and Delaware. There could be 48 states in the union for all I care.
Karl: Didn't Lamar Odom come from Rhode Island?
Me: Yes. Thank you for making my point for me.



Thanks for ruining a perfectly good state Lamar...

Radiation Photos

I don't mean to make light of Karl's treatment (well, actually I sort of do) but am I crazy or does the second photo remind you of that scene in the James Bond movie "Goldfinger?" Don't remember what I'm talking about? See below.



The good news though Karl, it usually works out pretty well for Bond in the end. See below.



This of course, got me to thinking, which Bond is Karl most like? First i thought maybe he was Timothy Dalton but I quickly realized he was very much the Gary Cherone of the bond series (Only 3 people got that. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Van_Halen#Gary_Cherone_era_.281996.E2.80.931999.29 for full information) appearing only briefly before everyone realized that he wasn't actually the right man for the job.




Then I settled on Roger Moore



Let me tell you why...

Moore's best work was in "A View To Kill" which features Jaws as the bad guy. If ever there was a Bond that could defeat Jaws it would be one that is most similar to Karl. In fact, I would pay a stupid amount of money to see Karl and Jaws "throw down". They are in fact, almost exactly the same size.



Ok, I have no idea where I'm going with this. If you would like to send Karl a word of encouragement please leave him a comment on this blog. The days get long and boring during treatments and he couldn't use a little pick me up at times.

Minor Update

I spoke with Karl last night and he was watching a movie with Stephen Baldwin and Luke Perry. In case you didn't read that correctly, last night Karl was watching a movie with Stephen Baldwin and Luke Perry. Imagine the amount of movies that Karl has watched on Netflicks if he settled on a movie with Stephen Baldwin and Luke Perry. It's actually somewhat frightening. The best part of it all though, in my "research" to find a picture of Stephen Baldwin I came across stephenbaldwin.com. Seriously. Do me a favor, if you have some time to kill PLEASE go to stephenbaldwin.com. It'll be worth your time. Did you know that he has a new novel coming out? I bet you didn't. See, these are the things that you miss when stephenbaldwin.com isn't your home page. If you don't know who Stephen Baldwin is, he's the least talented Baldwin (which is saying a lot) and he co-starred with Paulie Shore in the film Biodome. I'm pretty sure Biodome won like 13 Oscars; second all-time to Titanic.

But I digress...

Just a quick update on Karl, he has a little over a week more of treatments. Up until this point the radiation wasn't necessarily focused on a specific point. It was more "broad-sweeping". Starting tomorrow it will be more focused on the area of the tumor that was removed.

That's all for now.

Pastor Juan

One of the perks of my current living situation is that I periodically get sneak previews into the sermon that will be preached on Sunday at my church. This, of course, is due to the fact that one of my two roommates is the college pastor of the church I attend. This morning he informed me that he will be preaching on the first chapter of Joshua. Brief synopsis: Moses dies, the Lord selects Joshua to lead His people. This sermon is the third installment in the sermon series on "Journey into 2010". John specifically will be preaching on fear and how fear itself often builds walls in our life that prevent us from doing what we should/want to do. OK, I'm not exactly sure that is what John is preaching on but I sort of deduced that from our brief conversation.

I couldn't help but start thinking about what role fear plays in situations like Karl's. What I'm realizing is that fear rarely affects the patient. What I mean is that although I'm sure Karl is somewhat scared about all that is happening to him, just managing the endurance to battle this thing on a day to day basis is pretty darn brave. No, I think fear affects the family much more. I know I'm scared. What's frustrating is that often times I think fear replaces faith. I'm not implying its impossible to be of profound faith yet still scared; but I think often times we actually feed the fear instead of the faith. I'm not saying that when a family is going through a disease they should say things like, "We're not worried, God is in control." If you can say that, that's wonderful. But that is pretty tough stuff to say. Right now I'm in the place where I can say, "Lord, I'm scared to death but for what it's worth I'm putting my minuscule faith in you." And you know what, I think God is OK with that.

I've also been thinking what I would say to Karl if I wasn't so doggone scared. Well...yes, I'm using this blog as an indirect way to tell Karl how I'm feeling. By and large guys don't share how they are "feeling" with each other so give me a little bit of a break. But if I could say whatever I wanted to Karl I would say this.

First Karl, know that I love you. Often times our family doesn't express this. But know that I do. Know that the night I spent with you in the hospital before your first surgery was one of the most special nights of my life (I just reread this, and realize how awkward that sounded. I was on the floor. He was in the bed.) I know it wasn't the most "comfortable" nights for you, but for me it was maybe the first time where I felt like you and I let go of any barriers between us. Karl, I don't think you and I have ever talked about dad's death but I want you to know that I truly believe dad would be proud of you and that he loves you deeply. Karl my prayer is that you will fight this thing like a Banshee. I love you Karl.

Plastic Surgeon

Karl met with the plastic surgeon on Tuesday, and we have good news! The surgery was successful. There is a picture of Karl below. What? Too soon? Too off-color?



But I kid. Karl did meet with the plastic surgeon on Tuesday. Karl has two options for replacing the part of his skull that was removed due to the infection. The first is they could put a plastic piece in place. This is certainly less invasive than the other option but I guess this sort of operation has a high risk of infection. Given the fact that Karl has already had one infection this may not be a good route to take. The second option involves bone and skin grafts and essentially creating a new skull from the existing skull. I don't quite understand how this works but I couldn't get a hold of Karl last night. This surgery would take upwards of twelve hours...

Either way, Karl has roughly one more week of treatment and they wont be able to perform the surgery until at least four weeks after his last treatment. They have to allow time for the skin to heal. This was tough news because Karl is very sick of having to wear that stupid helmet.

We did receive some good news though, my mom heard back yesterday from an organization that helps patients cover medical expenses. They said they can provide some help for Karl's bills. We don't know exactly how much "some" is but I'm quite certain that some is more than none. This is particularly helpful because Karl's monthly insurance payments increased with the new year.



One quick update on his actual treatments, up until this point the radiation (from Marvin the Martian's gun) was more broad sweeping. I guess the remainder of his treatments will be more concentrated on the specific area where the tumor is.
I think that's all for now...

30

On January 1, 2010 Karl turned 30. I'm very appreciated of the fact that my mother chose to give birth to Karl on January 1. I'm pretty sure I have never forgotten his birthday. A special thank you to all the people that were able to come out for Karl's birthday party. I know he very much appreciated it. Festivities included watching the hockey game played at Fenway (pretty cool), watching the Rose Bowl and eating pizza and a Scooby Doo cake. Yes, as the picture indicates Karl had a Scooby Doo cake.

On Tuesday Karl goes down to the University of Chicago to meet with plastic surgery. The Mr. Universe competition is fast approaching and Karl was thinking about getting a little bit of a tummy tuck. I kid. No, he's meeting with the doctor to schedule a surgery to attach a plate to his skull to fill in the part that is missing due to the infection.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and New Years. God bless.