Monday, November 23, 2009

The Bachlor: Zion, Illinois Chapter

Today Karl is going to the doctor to receive his new helmet as well as to be fitted for the new mask. Just by way of review, the mask will be used to protect Karl during the radiation treatments and the helmet will be used when Karl goes hang gliding. Unfortunately I was not consulted to design either the helmet or the mask. Apparently the "medical people" must think that my proposals were not "practical" enough. Hogwash. If Karl had the helmet I suggested not only would he not have to worry about falling and hurting his head he could also live free from the fear of the Persians invading Beach Park, IL. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Wouldn't YOU want to be protected from the Persians! Alas, another good idea of mine falls by the wayside...

Kari, my lovely sister, recommended that I announce on this blog a fundraiser that is taking place for Karl. There is a facebook page with all the details but I understand there are probably like 3 or 4 of you that don't have facebook (I am now facebook friends with my 9 grade science teacher and my mother. If Mrs. Krass starts "tweeting" I'm not coming home for Christmas. That is not a threat. That is a promise). The name of the facebook page is "Fundraiser for Karl Krass". They also didn't like my suggestion of "The Karl Krass Fund for People That Can't Read Good and Want to Learn to do Other Stuff Good Too." What's with people? I feel like my wit is tragically being unappreciated. Here are the details for the fundraiser:

Saturday, December 5, 2009
4:00pm - 9:00pm
Bee Street

There will be an auction for some items, a raffle, Karl will perform his spot-on rendition of Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby" and other various entertaining things.

Probably the best of all though, if you decide to attend you can participate in the auction for a date with Karl Krass. That's right ladies. You've heard of the bachelor, this is the bachelor Zee-Bee style. Oh and ladies, there is more to Karl than just the fact that he is really, really good looking...FYI I superimposed Jesse Palmer's face onto Karl's body in the picture above. And on a side note, Jesse Palmer is a horrible college football analyst. He should go back to just being "really, really good looking."

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